Mr. College Answer Person drops by a couple of questions and answers. Who is Mr. College Answer Person? That will be answered soon. But not, unfortunately, now.
Dear MCAP: I play in a band. How can we get publicity for our upcoming show?
--Struggling to make it
Dear Struggle: Mr. College Answer Person thinks that dressing up as fire-breathing slime monsters and promising to eat live chickens on stage could attract an audience.
If that doesn't work, you could always try practicing a lot and putting up snazzy fliers.
As more people came to your shows, you could record a demonstration cassette and send it off to artist and repretoire managers at record labels. Then you might be able to find a company that would finance an album and national tour.
Nevertheless, the answer fellow doesn't claim to know what flies in the music business. He's sure that eating live chickens would get attention, though.
Dear MCAP: I don't have much money. Do you have some tips on how the average twentysomething can get by on a budget?
--Destitute and starving
Dear Destitute: Don't despair. Mr. College Answer Person feels your pain. He's used that very same pain to concoct an explanatory booklet about college budgeting, entitled "Mr. College Answer Person's Huide to Living on 15 Cents a Day."
Inside the booklet, among other pertinent info, you'll find timesaving recipes. The answer person is especially fond of his veal parmesan meal, containing only Tabasco sauce and rice. You'll eat like a king for days!
You might be asking yourself: "Mr. College Answer Person, how might I get hold of this wonderful booklet? It sounds precisely like the lifesaving information that can impact my life in festively wonderful ways."
It's the epitome of simplicity to get this compendious resource -- send $2,000 to Mr. College Answer Person, care of this Web site. He will Xerox a copy of the booklet within a couple of weeks and, if he remembers, mail it to you sometime.