Courtesy of the folks at the Urban Legends Reference Page, here's an
e-mail from a legislative intern. What makes it unusual? The writer was
fired because of it, for one thing. And it's about the meanest missive you'll read this year.
The spelling and grammar has not been
corrected. I've split up some longer paragraphs, though, simply to make
reading easier. Take a look.
"From: Kelly Tripplehorn
Sent: Tuesday, June 03, 2003 2:11 PM
Subject: you suck
"Well, as of this afternoon, I was planning
on ruining your career by making phone calls to all of my parents friends
and have you blackballed from the workplace as well as every prestigous
law school in the country, but then (lucky for you) I decided not to do
that because you are a sad sad person and I will just let your life self
destruct right before my eyes.
"Michele I am sorry, I don't care
how big of sadistic fucked up crush you have on me but people like me
simple don't date people like you. You are too competitive with me and you
just simply will never be better than me. I will always have more friends
than you just because I don't care about beating people and lying to get
to the top. (You are an absolute hipocrit in everything that you do, I am
not going to go into details why you are because that would be a waste of
my time and yours but I can assure you if you were to ever meet yourself
you would hate your twin)
"I have told most all of the staff about
our situation now and they already knew you were really messed you. They
said when you were talking to them about me, they all told me you had
'serious issues' and that every word you said sounded scripted and they
knew without a doubt that you were lying. I have noticed that people who
you think are your good friends actually really dislike you but unlike me,
they will not tell you to your face because they would rather be fake nice
to you than be your enemy.
"Now talking about how I am obsessed
with money, I simply am not. You are. You always are trying to impress me
by how much money you have and I don't care. The difference is though I
talk about it but it is never about bragging and it is never directly
about money, it is always directly about the conversation. For instance,
someone will ask, what are you doing for july 4rth. And then I will say I
am going to aspen. It is a simple fact that I am but since you don't have
a house in aspen, you get offended because of your competitive nature.
When you talk about money you will say something like UT's tuition is 5%
of your family's income, thus my tuition would be 125,000. Yea, Michele
you are right, I brag too much about what I have.
"Well I am just
going to stop writing because you are just absolutely beneath me. I have
heard that you try to undermine people all the time that are better than
you and everysingle time it does not work because people can see through
such shallowness and that is why as I have heard so many times, Most
"everyone at UT absolutely hates you." For instance even the people that
you thought were your friends Mellissa Mahaffey or that girl you met at
espn, they hate you, they just never say anything. Everyone knows you are
a pathetic social climber who will go to any discusting means to move up
the ladder. But guess what Michele, you will never move up the ladder
because I am at the top and people like me hate people like you. You might
be able to trick people like me for maybe a month or so but your true
personality comes through after a while and it is vile, if
that.
"You have sooooo many people that absolutely hate you and you
will never know it because they will never say anything to your face. You
will not succeed in life and even the staff thinks that also, after I told
them about the things that you do. You suck and good luck being miserable
for the rest of your life. I do not even know why I wasted my time typing
this for suck slime. Everyone tells me that you are so beneath me (which
you are) and I should not get worked up over suck trifles. By the end of
the day if I wanted to, I could make a phone call and have your life
absolutely ruined but there is no need because you are falling fast enough
towards failure without me. In the end, all I can say is that people love
me and people hate you. You should observe me and take a few notes on how
to make real friends. Other than you tieing this one other person, I have
never had such little respect for a human being in my life. I don't even
have to tell you why because in my very accurate analysis that most
everyone else agrees with, if you were to agree with my analyis about your
character than my whole entire analysis would be wrong.
"Your
inflamed ego has left you so blind and so impotent that you can nto even
recognize the most obvious flaws in yourself. All your old roommates
absolutely hated you and you still think the problem is with them, not
you. Well I talked to your roommates and I thought they nice normal girls.
So naturally, you would not fit in with them because you are so
intellectually above them all. Right? You suck at life and you need to
figure out why or you will be miserable for the rest of your life.
"Once again from your intellectual, moral, social, and emotional
superior,
Paul Kelly Tripplehorn, Jr. "
The girl complained and
the boy was booted out of Kay Bailey Hutchinson's office. Does someone
sound a wee bit insecure?
Read more about the sordid story.